How someone can lose a shoe and not notice is beyond me. But, it isn’t uncommon for me to see one shoe in the middle of the road.

The lone shoe is just part of a much bigger phenomenon that I call random road debris.

Random road debris is anything that you spot in, on the edge of, or near a road that doesn’t belong there.

Stripes in the middle of the road belong there. A striped tennis shoe in the middle of the road does not.

I would think that if I were driving a car, or were a passenger in a vehicle, that I would notice that one of my shoes went missing. But, judging from the volume of Nikes and Adidas I see strewn across major highways and in quiet neighborhoods, I’m in the minority.

Shoes, however, are far from the oddest road debris that can be witnessed.

I’ve found pairs of work gloves, which probably were left on the tailgate or bed rail of someone’s pickup and fell off as someone traveled to their next destination.

I’ve seen ball caps (only one that I picked up, washed and kept), toothbrushes (none of which I picked up, washed or kept), sunglasses, wheel covers, and a bumper.

Like a shoe, I would think that losing a bumper would get your attention. But, I guess not.

Once, I saw two laundry baskets, full of clothes, that looked as if they’d bounced down the highway. The yellow baskets were shattered, and the jeans, undergarments, and shirts were everywhere. I couldn’t decide if some poor soul had lost them on their way home from the laundromat, or if someone had just had enough of doing laundry and tossed them out on the way to the laundromat.

My house is located between two major lakes. You could find either lake from my house without a map or GPS by simply following the trail of empty beer cans. But, that’s another, sad discussion that Woodsy Owl needs to have again with society, not me.

During the summer season, large trucks, pulling boats that cost more than my house, go flying through our area.

Many unsecured items (I suspect the items being left unsecured might have something to do with the empty beer cans) are left in the boat and get caught by the wind.

It isn’t uncommon to find towels, flip flops, or koozies along the roadway. However, one day, I spotted a man’s bathing suit in the middle of the road.

At first, I kept going.

“No,” I thought. “No one will believe me.”

So, I turned around, stopped, and picked it up with an umbrella I had with me, and tossed it in the floorboard of the car.

When I got home and walked in the house, my wife asked me why I had a man’s bathing suit hanging off of the end of an umbrella.

A logical question.

After I explained to her that after all of the years of describing the random road debris I’d seen, I felt as though this one would require proof.

She agreed.

Hindsight, maybe I should’ve picked up some of the items I’ve seen over the years and returned them.

How difficult could it be to spot a drunk guy with just one shoe and no swimsuit?

©2016 John Moore
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