Can You Hear Me Now?

As a kid, I remember old people being hard of hearing. When I say old, of course I mean people who were older than I am now. The men would cup their hand behind one of their ears, turn toward you and ask you to repeat what you had just said.

I was a radio announcer for over 20 years. Wearing headphones six days a week, five hours a day has obviously taken its toll. I don’t hear well now.

At first, ...

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Men Are Idiots

Let’s face it, men are just idiots.

Despite the best efforts of most guys, we are going to do something aggravating or stupid, whether we like it or not. Women already know this, and they don’t like it either.

There really should be a class in elementary school just to teach boys things to avoid so that one day, when girls no longer have cooties, they’ll know what to do. For some reason, this wisdom is not imparted to young men, so ...

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Automatically Automatic Now

When do I automatically become adjusted to everything being automatic?

The first time I ever saw an automatic faucet was at a Luby’s. I’d gone in to wash up before digging in to my LuAnn Platter when I noticed the sink had no handles.

I looked around to see if Alan Funt had his Candid Camera hidden somewhere, but didn’t see him or a camera.

As I pondered how to get the soap off my hands with no water, a fellow came up ...

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Aw, Baloney

I miss fried boloney sandwiches.

I’m not sure what happened, but at some point over the last 45 years while I wasn’t looking, someone stopped making the good stuff.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were a mainstay of a 70s kid’s childhood and they’ve hung around. But, what happened to fried baloney sandwiches?

Unlike many of today’s kids, who play video games most of the day, a typical morning for kids in my neighborhood would see a mom sending you out the back ...

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