I’d buy more products if they still put prizes in the box.

I used to tell my mom that I didn’t want a specific breakfast cereal just because of the type of prize inside the box, but that wasn’t being completely honest. She said that I was making the purchase about me and not about the cereal.

I can vividly remember walking down the cereal aisle and perusing each box of Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, Cap’n Crunch and Frosted Flakes to see what they were offering.

Cap’n Crunch was my favorite, but I had no problem abandoning the Cap’n if Tony The Tiger was tossing a cooler toy in his box that week.

Cracker Jacks always had a toy surprise.

Even laundry detergent and oatmeal used to include everything from a dishtowel to a plastic drinking cup, respectively. The marketing was brilliant. If you were on a budget, if you bought the same laundry detergent or oatmeal repeatedly, you could wind up with a whole set of towels and a whole set of drinking cups.

The only thing similar I still see today are jelly jars. Smart jelly jar people still make them out of glass and they put a handle on them.

The point being that manufacturers used to give a little added value for your purchase.

So, here’s my proposal: Let’s bring back prizes in products, but this time let’s do it for the grownups.

For example, bags of potato chips could include a TV remote. Imagine the happiness brought to men everywhere by being able to watch their favorite shows with their own personal remote, all while enjoying a tasty snack food. This would allow men to watch their favorite women’s exercise program without ever having to leave their chairs.

Or, a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken could include a beer. They could even rotate different kinds of beer so that you never knew what you were going to get. Beer manufacturers from across the world could enjoy an advertising boost by placing a bottle of their finest just below an extra-crispy thigh.

Not to omit the ladies, I propose that jars of avocado body balm and new handbags also include a prize. The avocado body balm could include an attached package of AA batteries, and new handbags could include a bottle opener hidden in one of the zipper pockets.

That way, men and women could enjoy their prizes together. The batteries could go in the TV remote, and the bottle opener could open the Colonel’s free beer.

My wife read all of this before you got to see it and said that this was all about me.

I think she’s been talking to my mom.

©2015 John Moore