A Cretin Meetin’

There’s been much debate about the lack of manners in this country. Courtesy used to be called common courtesy. It’s now neither.

So, what can we do to bring back niceness? I have a suggestion.

Meetings.

Let’s send those who lack the social graces (we’ll call them cretins) to meetings. Ten minutes in an average employee staff meeting would do far more to set a cretin on the straight-and-narrow path than a smack upside the head ever could.

As a matter of fact, I ...

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Men And Outdoor Cooking

In most American households, women do the cooking inside and men do the cooking outside.

If you look way back in human history (the 1950’s), there’s a reason for this.

The first outdoor BBQ likely occurred half a million years ago shortly after the domestication of fire and around the time of Nancy Pelosi’s birth. But it wasn’t until the middle of the 20th Century, when George Stephen inherited part of the Weber Metal Spinning Company in the Chicago area, that man ...

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Some Things Just Shouldn’t Be Food

There’s a guy on TV who travels the world eating things I spray with Raid and he’s making tons of money doing it. His name is Andrew Zimmern and the show is called “Bizarre Foods”. And boy, they sure are.

I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy, so I honor his right to be who he wants and eat who he wants. I say that last part because sometimes I question the food supplier of the local cook featured on some of ...

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I Can’t Do Math

I’m not kidding.

I was the kid who spent his summers with a math tutor while the other kids were out counting their homeruns on the makeshift neighborhood baseball diamond.

Admitting that you can’t do something is not easy, especially for a guy. But recently, I learned that my inability to make any sense of numbers has a name:

Dyscalculia.

I love the fact that they gave a learning disability for math a name that has to absolutely drive dyslexics crazy.

According to the National Center ...

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Women Plant, Men Mow

It’s the man’s job to mow the yard and it’s the woman’s job to plant stuff in it for him to mow around.

I honestly believe that the things that men have to dodge and duck while we mow are the direct result of something we’ve done to anger our wives.

Drive down any street and find a yard that is overloaded with holly bushes, and you’ll find a guy inside that house that’s about two years away from appearing in an ...

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Just My 10-Cents

Do people still pick up pennies?

When Richard Nixon was president, my sister and I would collect pop bottles that people tossed out of their cars. Deep ditches were a pop bottle gold mine.

This was before the government discovered Woodsy Owl lecturing litterbugs in El Segundo and recruited him for a national Give A Hoot campaign.

Pop bottles were made of green glass and were returned, washed and reused back then. People brag about recycling aluminum cans and plastic bottles these days, but ...

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Get To Know Your Dad This Father’s Day

Get to know your dad this Father’s Day

I’m one of the lucky few in America whose parents are still married and still with me. In the last few months, this has become more apparent and appreciated, as time has caught up with all of us.

When I left home, I was 18 and my father was 42. I’m now 51 and he’s 75. Neither of us have been spring chickens for many, many springs.

I went home to Arkansas recently and had ...

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Chocolate Gravy

You haven’t lived until you’ve had Chocolate Gravy.

Whenever some chef comes on television and demonstrates a 40-step process for the “perfect meal”, I wonder how we got so far away from biscuits and gravy. Specifically, biscuits and Chocolate Gravy.

Being a Southern Boy, I was lucky enough to be reared on the staples of poor folk food. Of course, I had no idea that what we were eating was poor folk food, I just knew that it tasted like a million dollars ...

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Workin’ For a Livin’

Instead of focusing on the minimum wage, we should focus on the maximum effort.

When I got my first job at age 11, I was paid for the amount of work I did.

The man who owned the local bait shop in my hometown hired me to ride my bike over after school and work a few hours each afternoon doing manual labor, including tending the worm beds and boxing the worms for him to sell to fishermen. The agreement was this: ...

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Putting The Band Back Together

Most teenage boys have visions of being a rock star.

Correction. Visions of being a rock star are what they have when they’re not having visions of cheerleaders.

As a child of the ‘70’s, my rock star idols were longhaired, chain-smoking, whiskey-drinking, 20-somethings who made two guitars, a bass and a set of drums sound like a million dollars. At least that’s what it sounded like to me. My dad said it sounded like noise.

My parents didn’t view these guys the same way ...

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