If you’re a Baptist from the South, you’re hoping that the Pearly Gates pop quiz isn’t, “What’s the third verse to any song in the hymnal?”

You won’t know the answer.

If you’re laughing right now, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

In Southern churches that sing the old hymns, skipping the third verse is common.

“OK, let’s all stand. We’ll sing the first, second, and last stanzas,” said the church’s song leader.

In the little church in Ashdown, Arkansas, in which I grew ...

My grandfather called it a, “Po Boy Lunch.”

That meant we were having leftovers in whatever creative way my grandmother came up with.

Recently, I took two biscuits from breakfast and loaded them with smoked brisket, and from the garden, purple onions and jalapeños.

A little Heinz 57 topped them. Also from the garden, Roma tomatoes with sea salt.

It got me to thinking about why Southern folks like simple foods.

It’s because it’s good.

A pot of pinto beans, some sliced onion, and cornbread was ...

I don’t know if Red Goose was a real bird, but I used to love wearing her shoes. I especially loved getting them. Along with one of her golden eggs.

In Ashdown, Arkansas, Red Goose Shoes were sold at Blue Ribbon Shoe Store. It was one of thousands of shoe stores that dotted the American landscape of the mid-20th Century.

Unfortunately, shoe stores have pretty much gone the way of the buggy whip salesman.

I miss the experience of the shoe store.

Today, people ...

When you grow up with one car and no phone, trips to water parks usually aren’t on the summer agenda.

Two reasons. Budgets were tight, and there were no water parks in Ashdown, Arkansas.

Unless you count one of the numerous livestock ponds in the area. And those weren’t typically recommended for snorkeling.

But that didn’t mean our moms didn’t see to it that we had a day or two for aquatic recreation. On the contrary. Fun in the sun was as close ...

People use different ways to learn to read. Some folks use the vowels and consonants method. Others memorize how the words look.

I used both, but I had a secret weapon many didn’t know about.

Comic books.

While most kids were having, “Fun with Dick and Jane,” I was having a blast with Spider-Man and The Fantastic Four.

It started when my dad came home one day with a stack of comic books he’d picked up for a quarter at a garage sale.

At the ...

Things were better in the old days back in Ashdown, Arkansas.

Because of that, I’m building a room in our house with almost all vintage items.

I’m calling it, “The Retro Room.”

I never thought I’d hear anyone else besides my dad and grandfather say that. But now I’m saying it.

Things were made better in the old days.

Cars used to be better. Furniture used to be better. Appliances used to be better.

Show me one thing today that’s made with better quality and durability.

I’ll ...

America really is The Land of Opportunity. Even if there’s only one opportunity, and that opportunity is cutting the grass.

Ashdown, Arkansas, was a pretty typical small American town in the 1960s and 1970s.

Kids weren’t just handed things. If we wanted something, we were told to work for it.

At my house that was the case. It was also the case at the homes of all of my friends.

Want a new stereo? Go make some money. Want a new bicycle? Get a ...

In the South, we believed with all of our hearts what we were told when we were children.

Even if it was wrong.

In the 1960s, the RCA color console TV my family had on Beech Street in Ashdown, Arkansas, could make you go blind.

It could if you believed what our mom told us.

Mom: “Scoot back from that television. If you sit too close, it’ll make your eyes stick on blurry, and eventually, you’ll go blind.”

Me: “Really? Cool.”

Never mind the fact that ...

Back in the 60s, some American college kids protested the Vietnam War, but mostly, they conducted sit-ins. Few protests were violent.

Other American college kids would have contests to see how many of them they could cram into a Volkswagen.

Today, college kids see how much trouble they can cause by rioting on campus.

While the Volkswagen college kids were smashing up against each other in a Beetle, parents were cramming as many kids as they could into a Ford Country Squire or ...

As a child growing up in Ashdown, Arkansas, we had two main grocery stores. Shur-Way and Piggly Wiggly. Or as my dad called it, “the Hoggly Woggly.”

And a trip to the store was like each TV commercial had come to life.

Advertising agencies at the time were very good at what they did. Think about how much artful effort goes into tying elves to cookies, a talking fish to tuna, and a tiger to sugar-drenched corn flakes.

And then convincing kids to ...