My wife and I don’t eat out often, but when we do, we treat ourselves to a nice meal. This time, we tried somewhere fancy. And the restaurant we visited had more wait staff dedicated to us than Wal Mart has employees.
There were two valets, our maitre’ d, three greeting girls, our waiter, a beverage waiter, a bread girl, a guy whose only job seemed to be refilling our water glasses, and another girl who just walked from place to ...
Continue Reading →
Just as the temps finally decided to creep near 100 degrees for the first time this summer, the air conditioning in my car quit.
As I drove along with all of the windows down, I had an epiphany.
Suddenly, I became aware of things I hadn’t noticed in 35 years. Things you can’t notice with the windows up and the AC blowing.
I could hear the sounds of birds, dogs, the road noise, and the feeling of the hot ...
Continue Reading →
Valentine’s Day in elementary school was, for most of us, the first opportunity to express feelings for someone of the opposite sex.
They weren’t real feelings of love of course, but they were the first expressions that helped us to understand that maybe we could overlook the cooties about which we’d been warned.
Sadly, most men still think a card for Valentine’s Day, her birthday or Mother’s Day, is all it takes to make a woman happy.
Women have dozens of triggers for ...
Continue Reading →
Robin Williams died.
Celebrities are as mortal as the rest of us, but Robin wasn’t like the rest of us. That’s why the news of his death was such a shock to most of America.
Anyone under 40 grew up with Robin Williams. Those of us older than that remember the first time we saw him. I first saw him on television in the 1970’s on the show Happy Days. He played a space alien named Mork.
He exploded from the screen.
He later had his ...
Continue Reading →
Cake is overrated. Yet for some reason, it’s used to celebrate the biggest events of our lives, including birthdays, weddings and retirements.
I believe that people like pie better, they just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings when someone bakes them a cake.
Seriously, can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t rather have a bite of warm pecan pie with your glass of milk than a piece of cake?
Even royalty prefers pie. Marie Antoinette didn’t say, “Let them eat pie.” She ...
Continue Reading →
There’s been much debate about the lack of manners in this country. Courtesy used to be called common courtesy. It’s now neither.
So, what can we do to bring back niceness? I have a suggestion.
Meetings.
Let’s send those who lack the social graces (we’ll call them cretins) to meetings. Ten minutes in an average employee staff meeting would do far more to set a cretin on the straight-and-narrow path than a smack upside the head ever could.
As a matter of fact, I ...
In most American households, women do the cooking inside and men do the cooking outside.
If you look way back in human history (the 1950’s), there’s a reason for this.
The first outdoor BBQ likely occurred half a million years ago shortly after the domestication of fire and around the time of Nancy Pelosi’s birth. But it wasn’t until the middle of the 20th Century, when George Stephen inherited part of the Weber Metal Spinning Company in the Chicago area, that man ...
Continue Reading →
There’s a guy on TV who travels the world eating things I spray with Raid and he’s making tons of money doing it. His name is Andrew Zimmern and the show is called “Bizarre Foods”. And boy, they sure are.
I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy, so I honor his right to be who he wants and eat who he wants. I say that last part because sometimes I question the food supplier of the local cook featured on some of ...
Continue Reading →
I’m not kidding.
I was the kid who spent his summers with a math tutor while the other kids were out counting their homeruns on the makeshift neighborhood baseball diamond.
Admitting that you can’t do something is not easy, especially for a guy. But recently, I learned that my inability to make any sense of numbers has a name:
Dyscalculia.
I love the fact that they gave a learning disability for math a name that has to absolutely drive dyslexics crazy.
According to the National Center ...
Continue Reading →
It’s the man’s job to mow the yard and it’s the woman’s job to plant stuff in it for him to mow around.
I honestly believe that the things that men have to dodge and duck while we mow are the direct result of something we’ve done to anger our wives.
Drive down any street and find a yard that is overloaded with holly bushes, and you’ll find a guy inside that house that’s about two years away from appearing in an ...
Continue Reading →