My Pet Peeves

My biggest pet peeve is that not enough people share my pet peeves.

If only the rest of the world could understand that it’s the senseless little things that they do that drive the rest of us over the edge.

I have more pet peeves than this space has room for, so I’ll limit my list, lest one of your pet peeves might be a lengthy newspaper column.

The pet peeve that currently tops my list is when a cashier hands me my bills, coins and the receipt in one pile. They give it to me in a heap, without counting the bills, and then they drop the coins on top of the bills, the receipt on top of all of it, and then act surprised when the receipt falls to the floor.

As I pick up my receipt from the floor and struggle to get my bills into my wallet, the coins in my pocket and the receipt in the bag, the clerk acts frustrated that I’m taking too long to leave.

Next on my list is the cell phone. No doubt, the cell phone has given us instant communication during times when we truly need it. But talking loudly about nothing on your cell phone in a doctor’s waiting room with a roomful of trapped people is not truly needed. This happened to me recently and I somehow was able to refrain from asking the man to step outside, preferably into traffic.

Worn out phrases and words are a huge pet peeve of mine. Whenever I hear someone say they want me to “Think outside the box”, I imagine that the box to which they’re referring is one they’re in and the shipping label says “China”.

The word ‘literally’ makes the list. When someone uses the word literally for emphasis to claim, for example, “I was so embarrassed, my stomach literally turned inside out”, it’s obvious they don’t understand that literally means ‘without exaggeration’. What they mean is ‘figuratively’.

We all have pet peeves at work, but for coffee drinkers, the biggest is the “Takes-the-last-cup” co-worker. When you take the last cup and leave a few drips to avoid having to make another pot, it does not make you our friend. Your actions cause the heating element to cook those two teaspoons from original to extra crispy in about 10 minutes. Your actions also make the office smell like burnt death. We know who you are, and if you get a home-baked cake from us next Christmas, I wouldn’t recommend you eat it.

The last pet peeve I’ll list is tardiness. When you agree to meet someone at a specific time, it is rude to be late. I know that this will come as a shock to many, but that’s why they’re called appointments. They’re not called ‘I’ll-see-you-when-you-feel-like-showing-up’ gatherings. Most people try to keep a schedule, so if you don’t, don’t get your feelings hurt if we don’t wait on you.

I appreciate this opportunity to vent. I literally mean that.

©2015 John Moore

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