Some Things Just Shouldn’t Be Food

There’s a guy on TV who travels the world eating things I spray with Raid and he’s making tons of money doing it. His name is Andrew Zimmern and the show is called “Bizarre Foods”. And boy, they sure are.

I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy, so I honor his right to be who he wants and eat who he wants. I say that last part because sometimes I question the food supplier of the local cook featured on some of ...

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I Can’t Do Math

I’m not kidding.

I was the kid who spent his summers with a math tutor while the other kids were out counting their homeruns on the makeshift neighborhood baseball diamond.

Admitting that you can’t do something is not easy, especially for a guy. But recently, I learned that my inability to make any sense of numbers has a name:

Dyscalculia.

I love the fact that they gave a learning disability for math a name that has to absolutely drive dyslexics crazy.

According to the National Center ...

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Women Plant, Men Mow

It’s the man’s job to mow the yard and it’s the woman’s job to plant stuff in it for him to mow around.

I honestly believe that the things that men have to dodge and duck while we mow are the direct result of something we’ve done to anger our wives.

Drive down any street and find a yard that is overloaded with holly bushes, and you’ll find a guy inside that house that’s about two years away from appearing in an ...

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Just My 10-Cents

Do people still pick up pennies?

When Richard Nixon was president, my sister and I would collect pop bottles that people tossed out of their cars. Deep ditches were a pop bottle gold mine.

This was before the government discovered Woodsy Owl lecturing litterbugs in El Segundo and recruited him for a national Give A Hoot campaign.

Pop bottles were made of green glass and were returned, washed and reused back then. People brag about recycling aluminum cans and plastic bottles these days, but ...

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Get To Know Your Dad This Father’s Day

Get to know your dad this Father’s Day

I’m one of the lucky few in America whose parents are still married and still with me. In the last few months, this has become more apparent and appreciated, as time has caught up with all of us.

When I left home, I was 18 and my father was 42. I’m now 51 and he’s 75. Neither of us have been spring chickens for many, many springs.

I went home to Arkansas recently and had ...

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Chocolate Gravy

You haven’t lived until you’ve had Chocolate Gravy.

Whenever some chef comes on television and demonstrates a 40-step process for the “perfect meal”, I wonder how we got so far away from biscuits and gravy. Specifically, biscuits and Chocolate Gravy.

Being a Southern Boy, I was lucky enough to be reared on the staples of poor folk food. Of course, I had no idea that what we were eating was poor folk food, I just knew that it tasted like a million dollars ...

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Workin’ For a Livin’

Instead of focusing on the minimum wage, we should focus on the maximum effort.

When I got my first job at age 11, I was paid for the amount of work I did.

The man who owned the local bait shop in my hometown hired me to ride my bike over after school and work a few hours each afternoon doing manual labor, including tending the worm beds and boxing the worms for him to sell to fishermen. The agreement was this: ...

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Putting The Band Back Together

Most teenage boys have visions of being a rock star.

Correction. Visions of being a rock star are what they have when they’re not having visions of cheerleaders.

As a child of the ‘70’s, my rock star idols were longhaired, chain-smoking, whiskey-drinking, 20-somethings who made two guitars, a bass and a set of drums sound like a million dollars. At least that’s what it sounded like to me. My dad said it sounded like noise.

My parents didn’t view these guys the same way ...

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Don’t Discount Me

Those who know me well know that I am frugal (or downright cheap, as my children put it).

So, imagine my joy when I recently stopped by the discount bread store and discovered a particular type of wheat that normally runs $3.99 in the grocery store on sale for .99 a loaf. I picked up two loaves.

Cashier: “That will be .99 cents, please.”

Me: “Are you sure that’s correct? I have two loaves.”

Cashier: “Yessir, ...

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A Mom Is Who You Make Her

I lost count of the number of children my grandmother fostered over the years.

This came to mind recently when I saw a statistic which indicated that there are almost 30,000 children in the Texas Foster Care system.

Let that number sink in.

Thirty thousand children.

One of the biggest blessings any of us can ever receive during our time on earth is to have a family who loves us.

I have to be honest and say that I took my family for ...

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