Unattended Husbands

Since my wife retired, she does what many retirees do. Whatever she wants.

Like many families, our children and other family members are scattered across the country like dice across a table. Consequently, some of her time is spent flying or driving for visits in Texas, Oklahoma, Virginia, and other destinations.

But, being gone from home requires the one thing that most wives dread. Leaving their husbands unattended. For whatever reason, women think that men are completely incapable of handling a few ...

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Go Johnny Go

I had no idea how much one man had impacted my life until Chuck Berry died recently at age 90.

When I was 8 years old, I knew that I wanted to play Rock and Roll music. What I didn’t know was that Chuck almost single handedly gave Rock and Roll the roots of its sound and paved the road to success for all rock acts who would follow, including The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

I remember walking into Mike Hubrel’s ...

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Where The Heck Is Tyler, Texas?

“Where the heck is Tyler, Texas?”

My question didn’t surprise the guy on the other end of the line, and he chuckled.

It was early 1987. I was a 24-year-old disc jockey with a young family, and the job I had at the time just wasn’t working out. Shockingly, six months into the gig, the manager at the station reneged on my compensation package and cut my salary.

If you aren’t familiar with the radio business, being lied to and underpaid are hallmarks ...

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We Interupt This Program…

Suddenly, the TV show we were watching just stopped. We could get the cable channels, but the wifi stopped working.

This meant no Netflix, YouTube or Amazon Prime.

This moment made it clear to me how much the Internet is quickly becoming the main information conduit through which we receive our information and entertainment.

We had to wait a day before a tech could come to the house. As he tested the equipment, checked the box outside and made phone calls, I thought ...

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Random Road Debris

How someone can lose a shoe and not notice is beyond me. But, it isn’t uncommon for me to see one shoe in the middle of the road.

The lone shoe is just part of a much bigger phenomenon that I call random road debris.

Random road debris is anything that you spot in, on the edge of, or near a road that doesn’t belong there.

Stripes in the middle of the road belong there. A striped tennis shoe in the middle of ...

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Let’s Stop The Arguing

No one is wrong anymore.

Over the past 10 years or so, arguing has become America’s favorite pastime. Whether it’s politics, religion, sexual orientation, education, health care, or any number of other topics, people now wallow in bickering.

They do it on TV, Facebook, in online chat rooms, even in the waiting room at the oil change place. I witnessed the last one myself.

I can’t be the only one who’s sick of all the arguing.

If someone disagrees with someone else, they each ...

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This Spud’s For You

If I were forced to pick only one food item to eat for the rest of my life, it would be potatoes.

Potatoes are amazing. Their versatility seems endless. I challenge you to find another food that can bring the high level of tasty goodness to a meal that the potato does.

Mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, red potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato chips, and my favorite, French fries, are just a few examples of the glorious ways in which a ...

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Say What?

“You can’t make this stuff up.”

Actually, you can.

“These are mostly highway miles.”

Ever had a car salesman say that to you? It’s one of the many lines we’ve been trained to accept as fact.

I’ve never asked an Impala if its life has been an easier one simply because a little old lady from Pasadena drove it to church on the freeway each Sunday instead of a city street, but I’m guessing that a mile is a mile is a mile.

Why is ...

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The Door To Our Past Is A Jar

We buy a lot of food that we used to make ourselves.

Consumerism has made the world a better place, but it’s also made us quite lazy. What we used to be forced to make at home for economic reasons, we now, generally, just go and buy.

Last week, I made what was by my own count, the second loaf of bread in my life. Granted, I used a bread machine and didn’t knead the dough by hand, but it was still ...

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If You Rearrange The Letters, DMV Spells Hell

Sir? May I see your license, please?

As the line at the audiologist’s office began to grow behind me, I fished through my wallet looking for my driver’s license with the frustration and disbelief that only those who are OCD enjoy.

It wasn’t there.

I almost never lose anything.

I looked again. Nope.

“Ma’am, it’s not here. I’ve misplaced it,” I said, refusing to believe I had actually lost it.

Fortunately, coughing up a co-pay and an alternative form of ID got me in.

I flunked my ...

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