The Marriage Manual

There should be a marriage manual.

When a man asks a woman to marry him, the woman gets a wedding shower. The man gets a bachelor party.

Women are practical. They give the bride-to-be kitchen towels, a Crockpot, frying pan, bedding, dishes, cookware, an iron, and silverware.

The groom’s buddies give him a hangover.

What they should give the guy is an instruction booklet.

The marriage instruction booklet should be written by really old men who have been married at least 50 years.

If you are ...

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Do You Speak Southern?

Southerners have our own language.

I’m not referring to our accent, although a Southern accent will get you free beer in a Yankee bar because they like hearing us talk.

No, I’m referring to how we describe things and get our points across.

Down South, we all get a Coke. But we don’t all get the same brand. A Coke is what you call a soda pop. If someone says they want a Coke, you ask them what kind. They may want a ...

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A Picky Picker

I was an American Picker before it had a name.

I grew up in a family full of pickers. We just didn’t call it that. We called it garage sailing.

The TV show American Pickers features a couple of guys from Iowa who travel the country buying old items for resale.

In the 60s and 70s, my family bought old items, but many times we bought them to use.

My dad’s father was a blacksmith, as was his dad before him. Part of running ...

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The Chemistry Chicken

We had done the math, and without a doubt, Todd and I were going to flunk 11th grade chemistry.

It was 1978 and as my buddy and I sat in the back of Mr. Smith’s room, we knew that we would run out of school year before we had any chance of making a passing grade.

We were desperate.

As class was dismissed, we waited until all of the other students left the room.

“Mr. Smith?” I said. “Can we talk to you for ...

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Dog Flying

There were 50 seats on the plane. I counted.

The aircraft’s courtesy lights dimly lighted the cabin. Which was good, because no one was really awake. We had all arrived at airport screening at 4:30 am, some earlier, for a 5:30 flight. Finishing up a week of time off, I had enjoyed my vacation, but was ready to get back home.

Flying is truly a gift. In just a little over a century, we’ve gone from two brothers gliding a couple of ...

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When You’re Hot, You’re Hot

As tears ran down my face, in a raspy voice I mumbled, “You owe me a dollar.”

Ms. Bettie was one of the senior checkers at the Piggly Wiggly. She had bet me a dollar that I couldn’t eat a whole, raw jalapeño.

She was right. But with all of our coworkers watching, I was not about to admit defeat.

I was 17 and had never eaten a hot pepper. But, like most guys that age, I was all gas pedal, and no ...

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A Man Cave Man

I had a man cave before it was called that.

For eons, men have had a space they called their own. A place to get away. This space has been called a number of different things, but the purpose was the same. When the pressures of their time reached an unacceptable level, they could escape.

One hundred years ago, when America was primarily an agrarian society, men had a barn. There, they could retreat to a day of taking care of the ...

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This Spud’s For You

If I were forced to pick only one food item to eat for the rest of my life, it would be potatoes.

Potatoes are amazing. Their versatility seems endless. I challenge you to find another food that can bring the high level of tasty goodness to a meal that the potato does.

Mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, red potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato chips, and my favorite, French fries, are just a few examples of the glorious ways in which a ...

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The More Things Change…

“Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important.” – David Brinkley

In the late 1960’s, each weekday at 5:30 pm, my dad would pull his ’52 Chevy truck into the driveway. Through the open screen door, the engine’s six cylinders would fall silent; followed by the sound of him closing the truck’s solid door. You could set your watch by it.

My younger sister and I would scream, “Daddy!”

Swinging the screen door open, we would barrel down ...

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Charging The Future

I’ve witnessed some pretty amazing technological advancements in my lifetime. But just when I think I’ve seen it all, I see something new that’s mind-boggling.

Recently, as my wife and I watched YouTube on our television, which in and of itself is pretty mind boggling, we came across a video about a proposed system whereby neighborhoods would be designed so that the streets would include wireless charging stations for electric cars.

When a car is finished charging, it ...

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