Watch This

Watches are going the way of the buggy whip.

Many people, especially younger folks, are opting out of wearing a wristwatch. It seems that the same thing that made the Kodak camera, the video camera, the calculator, and many other once commonplace items, has also made the watch obsolete. The smartphone.

As if people needed another reason to stare at their cellphone, the iPhone is also now a timepiece for many.

Long before batteries powered watches, you had to wind your watch each ...

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The Marriage Manual

There should be a marriage manual.

When a man asks a woman to marry him, the woman gets a wedding shower. The man gets a bachelor party.

Women are practical. They give the bride-to-be kitchen towels, a Crockpot, frying pan, bedding, dishes, cookware, an iron, and silverware.

The groom’s buddies give him a hangover.

What they should give the guy is an instruction booklet.

The marriage instruction booklet should be written by really old men who have been married at least 50 years.

If you are ...

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Do You Speak Southern?

Southerners have our own language.

I’m not referring to our accent, although a Southern accent will get you free beer in a Yankee bar because they like hearing us talk.

No, I’m referring to how we describe things and get our points across.

Down South, we all get a Coke. But we don’t all get the same brand. A Coke is what you call a soda pop. If someone says they want a Coke, you ask them what kind. They may want a ...

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The Chemistry Chicken

We had done the math, and without a doubt, Todd and I were going to flunk 11th grade chemistry.

It was 1978 and as my buddy and I sat in the back of Mr. Smith’s room, we knew that we would run out of school year before we had any chance of making a passing grade.

We were desperate.

As class was dismissed, we waited until all of the other students left the room.

“Mr. Smith?” I said. “Can we talk to you for ...

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A Man Cave Man

I had a man cave before it was called that.

For eons, men have had a space they called their own. A place to get away. This space has been called a number of different things, but the purpose was the same. When the pressures of their time reached an unacceptable level, they could escape.

One hundred years ago, when America was primarily an agrarian society, men had a barn. There, they could retreat to a day of taking care of the ...

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The More Things Change…

“Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important.” – David Brinkley

In the late 1960’s, each weekday at 5:30 pm, my dad would pull his ’52 Chevy truck into the driveway. Through the open screen door, the engine’s six cylinders would fall silent; followed by the sound of him closing the truck’s solid door. You could set your watch by it.

My younger sister and I would scream, “Daddy!”

Swinging the screen door open, we would barrel down ...

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Camping Can Get Tents

Man spent thousands of years in the wilderness, scrounging for food, dodging danger and searching for a safe precursor to toilet paper. After finally conquering agriculture, domesticating many animals, and inventing Charmin, Americans now spend millions each year to go back into the woods.

In movies and on TV, camping is presented as being utopia. Even medication ads for older, less functional men seem to indicate that a pill and a pup tent are all a happy couple needs.

But the truth ...

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Churning Makes The World A Butter Place

This week, for the first time in my life, I made my own butter.

But to get to the beginning of this tasty story, we have to go back a few years.

In 2013, I was sitting in the waiting room at my sleep doctor’s office when I became tired of the talking heads on the news network arguing with each other, so I struck up a conversation with an older gentleman and his wife. Turns out, they were also sick of ...

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Comics Were Super, Man

Comic books were a big part of my childhood.

As a preteen, my comic books went virtually everywhere with me. I say virtually, because they frowned upon them in church. That was about the only place I didn’t take them.

My favorites were the Marvel Comics. Spider-Man, The Fantastic Four, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, The Incredible X-Men and others, took me into a world that I loved. In my comics, the bad guys tried, but the good guys always ...

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Tastee Freez and A&W Root Beer

I miss Tastee Freez and A&W Root Beer stands.

My earliest recollection of hamburgers were ground beef patties that my mom fried in a cast iron skillet and placed between two pieces of white bread that were coated in Miracle Whip.

I’m sure that the burgers were fried in bacon drippings that had been saved from breakfast, because virtually everything we ate back then was fried in bacon drippings that had been saved from breakfast.

As I got older, and my parents felt ...

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