Wagon My Tale

Wagon My Tale

Vacations are not for the faint of heart.

Anyone who has ever taken children on a trip across country in an automobile knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Planes have certainly helped when it comes to travel, but it wasn’t always so easy.

Before air travel was common for the masses, when the school year would end American families would cram as much luggage and as many people as possible into a station wagon and head out on that summer’s adventure.

As screaming kids ...

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Travel

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Sugar, Sugar or Honey, Honey?

Sugar, Sugar or Honey, Honey?

There are many things that separate Northerners from Southerners, but the way we drink our tea has to rank near the top of the list of differences.

If you were born below the Mason Dixon line, it is assumed that you drink sugar in your tea. Lots of sugar. And, for the most part, your tea is iced tea, not hot tea. Some folks who drink hot tea in the south will put honey in it, but not sugar.

Most Northerners I’ve ...

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Home Cooking

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One-Ply Toilet Paper and Other Unexplained Phenomena

One-Ply Toilet Paper and Other Unexplained Phenomena

Life is full of unanswered questions.

It seems that there are just some things that we’ll never understand.

I’m not referring to ‘What is the meaning of life?’ or ‘Is there life on other planets?’.

I’m referring to things such as single-ply toilet paper.

For the love of all that’s holy, why was this product invented? Better yet, why do people buy it? When I mistakenly come home with a 12-pack of single-ply toilet paper, I look up and ask karma what it was ...

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Blog, Unanswered Questions

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What Makes Your Van Gogh?

What Makes Your Van Gogh?

I know art when I see it.

Recently, pranksters planted a $10 Ikea print in a Netherlands Museum and told visitors it was made by a Swedish artist named Ike Andrews. Note the first four letters of Mr. Andrews’ name.

Patrons were asked what they thought it was worth. Estimates ranged from 1,000 Euros to 2.5 million Euros.

I’ve heard of Euros, but I never bothered to learn how much one is worth since it would have to equate to American dollars to ...

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art

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With A Toy Surprise Inside

With A Toy Surprise Inside

I’d buy more products if they still put prizes in the box.

I used to tell my mom that I didn’t want a specific breakfast cereal just because of the type of prize inside the box, but that wasn’t being completely honest. She said that I was making the purchase about me and not about the cereal.

I can vividly remember walking down the cereal aisle and perusing each box of Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, Cap’n Crunch and Frosted Flakes to see ...

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Beer

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Watch This

Watch This

“There’s a sucker born every minute.” – PT Barnum

I’m continuously amazed at what people will buy.

The new Apple Watch made its debut this week. Prices range from $349 to over $10,000. Yes, you heard me correctly, $10,000. The $10K model is made of gold and only sold in fancy stores in Paris and New York. At least for now. I guess they won’t hit Wal Mart, Dollar General, and other places I shop until later.

According to Apple’s website, “In conjunction ...

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Blog

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If You Rearrange The Letters, DMV Spells Hell

If You Rearrange The Letters, DMV Spells Hell

Sir? May I see your license, please?

As the line at the audiologist’s office began to grow behind me, I fished through my wallet looking for my driver’s license with the frustration and disbelief that only those who are OCD enjoy.

It wasn’t there.

I almost never lose anything.

I looked again. Nope.

“Ma’am, it’s not here. I’ve misplaced it,” I said, refusing to believe I had actually lost it.

Fortunately, coughing up a co-pay and an alternative form of ID got me in.

I flunked my ...

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Uncategorized

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Can You Hear Me Now?

Can You Hear Me Now?

As a kid, I remember old people being hard of hearing. When I say old, of course I mean people who were older than I am now. The men would cup their hand behind one of their ears, turn toward you and ask you to repeat what you had just said.

I was a radio announcer for over 20 years. Wearing headphones six days a week, five hours a day has obviously taken its toll. I don’t hear well now.

At first, ...

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Uncategorized

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Men Are Idiots

Men Are Idiots

Let’s face it, men are just idiots.

Despite the best efforts of most guys, we are going to do something aggravating or stupid, whether we like it or not. Women already know this, and they don’t like it either.

There really should be a class in elementary school just to teach boys things to avoid so that one day, when girls no longer have cooties, they’ll know what to do. For some reason, this wisdom is not imparted to young men, so ...

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Uncategorized

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Automatically Automatic Now

Automatically Automatic Now

When do I automatically become adjusted to everything being automatic?

The first time I ever saw an automatic faucet was at a Luby’s. I’d gone in to wash up before digging in to my LuAnn Platter when I noticed the sink had no handles.

I looked around to see if Alan Funt had his Candid Camera hidden somewhere, but didn’t see him or a camera.

As I pondered how to get the soap off my hands with no water, a fellow came up ...

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Uncategorized

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